My current flirtability level ranks fairly even with men of most demographics. I can put 20-year-old bros under a spell to make them believe I'm a hip and sexy 25-year-old. Older (and I mean, waaaaay out of my dating range) men give me attention and treat me like a mature 30-year-old. A handsome man in a suit, a few years my senior, will give not one but two double takes at the local food co-op. And the earthy men growing the produce to sell at the farmers market? Yes, they love me, too.
So what will I do with this new found discovery? Oh, you better believe I'm gonna milk it for all it's worth!
The good news is that I was not murdered last night at the house of a stranger I met online. In fact, the entire evening was a pleasant affair.
Which brings me to the bad news. I have a serious case of cold feet. A serious case. I left Marathon Man's house with toasty warm toes and plans to see him again, but by the time I stepped in my apartment, my feet started icing up and have stayed frozen. As in, I am nearing the point of eye rolls when I receive a text from him. And eye-rolling is one of the most severe symptoms of not having a crush on someone.
At this point, I am trying to address my cold feet concerns by not thinking about it. And flirting with other men. And having secret, little crushes on other men. And giggling like a schoolgirl about it. And making sustained, sexy eye contact with attractive men. And listening to One Direction.
It hasn't helped the cold feet, but it's warmin' my heart!
As many of my faithful readers know, long periods of silence on this blog mean one of two things: I'm experiencing a serious crush drought and no one would want to read ten posts about the Hemsworth brothers' crushability factors -or- crushes are becoming a little less comical and a little more serious.
Since this is a blog about crushes, not relationships, all I will say is Cougar Bait and I dated briefly...and we're on good enough terms that I talked him into being my date to a wedding post break-up.
But again...this is a blog about crushes, and I have news. I received a message on an online dating site from a man who appeared interesting enough to meet. We messaged a painstaking four days before he finally asked me out, and we met up to get drinks downtown.
And I found out he's your typical guy who works with puppies and troubled youth, owns a house, runs marathons, rescues lost cats, etc. etc. etc. Fortunately, things went pretty well with Marathon Man and he wasn't scared off by my stories of self-diagnosed Dengue Fever and referring to my bikes by their first names (Paul and Lena).
We're meeting up tonight to make dinner at his house, so if there's silence on the blog for another couple months, it might be a good thing. Or maybe he murdered me and my dream of a Lifetime movie with Rashida Jones playing me will finally be a reality...
My plan was for this to be the summer of dates, dates and more dates! Casual dates! Dates that ended as good stories and nothing more! Dates that ended as funny stories and nothing more! Plans have changed slightly, and before I give you the update on the changes, here's a nice intermission of my most recent date...
"Date" 8: Okay, I'm not sure it was a real date, but to make my numbers look better, I'll count it. I met an intern at an office potluck, we got to chatting, one thing led to another, and we made plans for lunch. I went to lunch with "The Intern" with the intention of talking about work and our field, and we did; although we also spent a considerable amount of time talking about him and his accomplishments.
He seemed to have caught the same incessant communication bug as McBride, except it has been exclusively through social media and not texts (he messaged me his number, and fortunately I had the forethought to not give him mine).
Aaand back to business! Coug Bait has been relentless; not forcefully or annoyingly, but very thoughtfully and sweetly. He is still swamped with work, so I hardly ever see him, but he texts me at least every day and asks me how my day has been. And he is as clever as I am coy, so it's quite the dance between us. But readers, you'll be pleased to know that I'm my same feelings-and-commitment avoiding self despite the flirtations of this young buck.
After such a whirlwind of activity, there has been a much-appreciated quiet on the home front. I went out of town for a few days, which included a text to McBride canceling our dinner plans. His obsessive texting was just too much for me...
When I told some of my girlfriends back home about my recent dating ventures and the 33-year-old texting fiend, they all said, "Oh, waaay too old." What can I say? They know my taste in men!
And this whole Coug Bait endeavor is progressing nicely, though I can only see it ending badly. He is incredibly busy these days, so it's my absolute DREAM quasi-relationship, because I don't see him at all (or worry about others seeing us), but we text a little bit every day. So I have enough time to peruse online prospects, check out the local farmers markets for bearded beauties, and attend summer weddings as a single lady, all while having my self-esteem boosted daily and gaining motivation to improve my dateability factor (you know, cooking with fresh vegetables instead of eating pizza all the time...). I mean, this is pretty much how I look while texting him:
Unfortunately, I fear the day when he has much more free time on his hands and wants to hangout more...
Things are not letting up, my friends! Here are the most recent updates:
Sarge: Sent me a nice check-in text message. He was very polite and not overbearing--I told him that I was going to be out of town, and he wished me well on my trip.
Tracker: Sent me a Facebook friend request. I'm feeling very "Aunt Linda":
McBride: I left this out in my date debrief, but I actually told him that my ideal relationship is with someone who lives 1-2 hours away, so I wouldn't have to see him all the time. And what does he do? Incessantly texts! Tooooooo much! I also told him that I'm not a big commitment person, and that I lie, I'm selfish and I'm immature. Given the age bracket he's likely dating, I think he wants to lock this one up, since I don't have kids...I am now dreading our dinner date. Shoulda slowed your roll, McBride!
Coug Bait: Still giving me grief because he's just so darn cute! But it's nice to text someone who doesn't pester and is actually thoughtful and funny. Even if he's doing so from his mother's living room...
In other news, a former colleague is about to set me up with his very attractive (and born in the same decade as Coug Bait) roommate.
Thank goodness I'm going to be out of town for a few days to get a break from all this drama, but until then, here's the update!
Date 6: Remember Tracker? I gave him and his bad jeans another chance, and we met up at a state park over the weekend. It was a lovely outing--we learned some of the historical background of the geographical area, met some authentic-looking fur trappers (complete with flint-started fires and beaver traps), had lunch and played disc golf. It was something that would be enjoyed with a friend...but the chemistry just wasn't there.
And please keep this a secret, but I might have snuck off to use the restroom in order to text that darn 22-year-old...
As we were saying goodbye, he asked if I would like to hangout again. *Siiiiiiigh.* I paused, thought about it, and said reluctantly, "Hmm..possibly." I then went on to say that I was going to be out of town for the next few weekends, and I'm hoping he got the hint, but he mentioned trying to call or text in a few weeks, so we'll see.
Date 7: After becoming incredibly frustrated with his superbly poor texting etiquette (his only reasonable excuse is that he's 33, so maybe he just doesn't get technology like the young'uns do?), I made plans with another online prospect. I met for drinks downtown with "McBride" (a country music reference, not that he is a serial husband), and I would say that it was a relatively successful venture. There were things about him that I liked, but he does like heavy metal music, so...
Anyway, I must have made a good enough impression, because we're having dinner together on Wednesday. I don't really see things going very far, but I'M TRYING, AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS, DAMMIT!
And in other news, Coug Bait is out of town, but giving me enough of a hook via text (no, not like that!) that I bought Mamma Mia! and have to watch the "Does Your Mother Know" scene over and over just to cope...
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